Holy Redeemer Lutheran Church
1948 The Alameda
San Jose, CA 95126
San Jose, CA 95126
I never thought I would find a place to spark my faith:
bash flint for a flash of lightOnly my secondary family has a church life and I know very little about their faith. My parents are anti-Church and split on the notion of spirituality. Frankly I had the notion that religious people were all either idiotic sheep or evil charlatans controlling the masses. But I have always searched for something, struggling with the conflict of desire to have "it" on the one hand and derision for those who do on the other. I believe my blackest depressions had to do with that disconnect from God. (That or I really am crazy - but three years of therapy did not support that theory.) At this point I find myself wanting to explain and dilute that word, God. The funny thing is that I am writing this to share with my church, a group of people who by their congregation say that God is okay. So, I am still having a problem with words. Loaded, preconceived misused words. And that is also okay.
Which brings me to the tears of incredible joy, a feeling I can only describe as God. In the midst of my internal struggle about what I believe, who I believe, do I believe, I come to this place called HRLC and am overwhelmed. My struggle is seen as growth, it is safe for me to claim Christianity - and still have my doubts and questions. I am challenged by the love I feel from others to be a better lover - of others. You just can't hang out with some of our members and not want to emulate the love they exude. And my prejudice toward Church, the faithful and what is a Christian is blown away and replaced with beliefs and values I have always had but never applied them in this way. This is an amazing place of mystery, community and education all aimed at spiritual growth that deepens relationship with God.
Which brings me to the tears of awesome sadness. Sadness because some do not take advantage of this powerful resource they have. Sadness because I lack the gifts to communicate what this church means to me in a way that engages others in the process. What a powerful thing to be told "Do What You Want" and that "We are equipping people to be the person God wants them to be." What could we all achieve, individually and collectively, if we were the persons God wants us to be? Wow, awesome! And sad that so few of us are engaged in the struggle, in this place. I don't find many days that are easy; I am finding more where I know who I am, that I have purpose and that I am loved. I pray the same for all of us.